Shroom Stories

Five minutes later after explaining the situation, he was assured that the call had been passed to the nearest available police car in the area, who were now heading to the scene, and would be with them as soon as possible. Dave considered he'd have a long wait due to how isolated the moor was, and how easy it'd be to make a wrong turn. He felt better at least, knowing that someone else could share the burden of his responsibility. They sipped there tea, quietly discussing what might have happened to John.

The wind had blown much of the low lying cloud away now, and with it the rain had begun to ease. They could now see clearly much of the panoramic landscape around them. Dave stepped out of the caravan back in the fresh air, to try give himself some space, to get a better look. He also didn't want to be too close to anyone with a bottle half full of the finest shrooms money could buy. He was sure the woman had noticed it. It was kind of hard not too, but felt confident that she didn't know what was inside it. He scanned around him, preying his buddy would just materialise into view and everything would be all ok again. He looked for any flash of colour. Nothing moved at all. "Where on earth was he" he thought to himself. It was a mystery he needed to know the answer to.

Ten minutes later the black and white police car pulled up into the car park in front of the caravan and red Astra surprising Dave as to how quickly the police had arrived. These guys were good. Two officers got out and Dave approached making himself known to them, his arm instinctively dropping to his side to cover the bottle.

"So what happened then", one said, obviously the senior policeman. Dave explained how he'd been out walking with his friend, and that they'd got separated.

"How could you get separated so easily" the other asked, almost a little suspicious, eyeing Dave up. He knew he had to be careful with his answers. Going picking wasn't the same as a leisurely walk in the park. Following mushrooms was more akin to a random amble, spent with your eyes looking down. It was normal to lose site of your buddy and perfectly normal to have a lot of distance between you as you both followed your separate ways. However he could hardly admit what they'd been up to. Dave explained how the fog had been thick then, and he must've drifted away from his buddy without realising. It was thin but…

"Has John got a mobile phone", the other policeman, who dark hair, cut in gratefully removing the need for Dave to explain further on that small detail.

"Yes, trouble is I can't call him because my mobile phone is locked in his car". Dave certainly couldn't remember John's number. One of the officers tried all the door handles of the Astra coming dangerously close to Dave's right sided pocket. He angled himself leaning his side away from the officer, continuing to use his arm to shield the bottle of shrooms. This was going to be tight Dave thought to himself feeling he was in imminent danger of getting busted. The legality of fresh shrooms had always been a grey area in England. Dry magic mushrooms were classified as Class A drugs, and possession was punishable by a hefty fine, and potential prison sentence. This whole day was turning into a nightmare.

"Well hop in then, and we'll go for a drive and see if we can see him" the officer said motioning for Dave to get in the vehicle. The officers moved to their car, Dave jumping in the empty back seat. They pulled out of the car park, taking a right. As they drove Dave couldn't help but see the irony of the situation. He was sitting in a police car with 500 shrooms going for a drive. How the hell was he going to get out of this? You couldn't have made it up if you tried.

"What was John wearing", the blonde haired policemen leaned round to ask? Dave described it as best he could remember. The landscape sped past as they all took in the view scanning intently for any sign of John.

"One of my constables handed in his resignation today", the driver said to the policeman in the passenger seat. His voice was disappointed.

"Really, who" replied the younger officer, getting into the conversation? They continued talking amongst themselves, almost oblivious to Dave's presence. He was happy to shut up, and not draw any attention to himself. However he knew there was no way his mate could of made it this far out. They had driven at least three miles by now.

"I don't think he could've made it this far" Dave proffered. The policeman agreed, and turned the car round the next opportunity they had, driving back towards the car park. The field they had picked on lay on the south facing rim of a large basin like valley. It was looked down upon by a flat plateau a few miles to the West. A car park on this bank offered a natural vantage point to look directly down onto their picking grounds. It would give them the best possible view of the land ahead. If John was out there, they should be able to see him from there.

Pulling into this larger car park Dave could see their picking spot clearly some miles in the distance. The visibility had returned to normal now, and Dave could even see blue sky. They all searched, scanning their eyes across the horizon. Dave half expected to see a glimmer of John's back pack, or a flash of his bright red jacket. After 5 minutes, they hadn't seen anything. John was definitely missing. The idea he'd fallen down a hole seemed startlingly realistic. They drove back to the car park where John's Astra was parked. The constable pulled out his two way radio and called back to base. He reported his location and asked if the Hillside Rescue Team could be summoned giving their location.

The policeman then came over to John's car peering in through the windows. "We're going to have to get in this car and find that mobile phone of yours" the senior officer said. Again they were both close to Dave now, who was still worrying about the small matter of 500 shrooms in his right pocket. "I think I've got a crowbar in the back" the older policeman said. A minute later he was back clutching the 2 feet long piece of steel. They gathered round the car door as he felt the car door with the crowbar trying to find a weakness in the Astra's defences.

As Dave tried to keep to the right side of the officers, the younger one gave Dave a measured look. His eyes darted to the bottle he'd now glanced sticking out of Dave's pocket. Dave could almost sense what the policeman was going to ask next. It was on the tip of his tongue. Just one little question away. Then Dave would be busted. His heart thudded in his chest.

"Got it" the policeman said as the door gave a whump and the lock gave in. Quite how the policeman had done it, Dave hadn't seen, being too preoccupied at that second. The door seemed perfectly intact still. However it was just enough of a distraction to break the younger officer's train of thought. He turned back round to his colleague who was grinning, obviously relishing the satisfaction of a successful break and gave him a pat on the back.

"Good stuff" the blonde one said as his colleague opened the driver side door, and then round between the front seats to unlock the rear passenger door, nearest Dave. The officer then repositioned himself so he was sitting properly in the front passenger seat in front of the glove box. Sensing an opportunity, Dave opened the rear passenger door and hopped in.

"You better find that mobile phone of yours" the policeman in the front said. Not needing a second invitation Dave leaned over the back seat where his overnight bag was stashed. He pulled it over, darting his head round. Both policemen were focussed in the front. He slipped out his bottle and quickly put it into the bag. Phew he thought zipping the bag tightly up. He then opened his backpack next to him, and pulled out the mobile phone. Dambit, the thing had run out of batteries. Typical.

"Just to let you know" the lead officer said "we're going to need to take a look in his glovebox, to see if we can find anything that can help us contact John's next of kin." Dave didn't object. The constable opened the glove box. John's wallet was conveniently sitting on the top of some old maps and cds. Dave said "sorry, but my mobile phone's dead" holding it up for them to see. The constable opened Dave's wallet, and something dropped out into the constable's hand. Dave could not believe what he was seeing. Nor could the police officer who now had, sitting perfectly in the palm of his hand, John's quarter ounce bag of weed. Dave didn't whether to laugh or cry. This was getting ridiculous.

A moment of stunned silence descended as the police office looked round with raised eyebrows. "Do you have any explanation for this then" said the officer? Dave was speechless. Not only had he just narrowly avoided being busted for shrooms, but he'd just managed somehow to convene John to get his car broken into by two coppers, and then get him busted for pot. Brilliant. He didn't know who was going to kill who if John ever got found alive. He could almost see the funny side of the situation, not for the first time that day. Dave thought it best to remain silent on this note. "Is there anything else I'm gonna find in here" he asked? meaning the wallet, but Dave suddenly thought they might have grounds now to search the car after all. Maybe he wasn't going to get away with those shrooms after all. Dave shook his head. "Sorry, I didn't know John had that" he said. The officer continued to look through John's wallet. It was full of coins and business cards and a £20 note. The policeman saw one of the cards had some of John's family's contact numbers on it.

There was a flash, as a vehicle pulled into the car park. They all looked, to see a large, militarized looking vehicle with six wheels pull into the car park. It was the Hill Rescue Squad. This got their attention and the officers got out to see meet them.

The door of the six-wheeler slid open, and a medium sized man got out. Dave could see there were more people inside. The policeman introduced himself giving them a quick debrief of what they knew. Another older gentleman with a white, trimmed beard got out too and listened in.

"We've found this mobile with John's number on it, but it's unfortunately run out of power" the officer mentioned.

The man with the white beard said, "I might have a charger for this in the vehicle", he took it disappearing inside.
They could hear a radio chattering noisily in the vehicle. It was the pilot of a rescue helicopter. One of the squad sat at the control panel, with lots of lights and buttons holding a walky talky. "Just to confirm, he's still missing" the man at the control panel said into the mouth peace, "I think we'll need you at our location".
"Affirmative, what is your location" the pilot said.
"The man at the control panel checked his GPS, and radioed in the co-ordinates to the pilot.

"Roger, I'll be there in three minutes, over". Dave had to admit, they ran a smooth professional operation. It had all been very professional, and if anyone could find John these guys could do it. He had no idea what was going to happen next. He just stood in the car park taking in the drama around him. The car park was a hub of activity. Even the people in the Caravan had got involved now, offering everyone a cup of tea. The policemen were chatting to the rescue team, and Dave almost felt a sense of calm descend upon them.

A drone, carried across the wind getting quickly louder. It was still a surprise to Dave, as the helicopter raced low and fast above the car park in a fly by that took his breath away. The helicopter gleamed day glow orange and white, and made for a fantastic sight sweeping across the valley. The fact they could hear the pilot on the intercom made them feel more involved. The guys on the ground continued to feed the helicopter with information pointing him in the right direction to focus on. Dave could only stand and watch in awe – it was exciting.
"I don't see anything obvious, going round for another sweep" the pilot's voice crackled.
"I've got it" the man with the white beard who they'd almost forgotten had taken Dave's mobile phone to try and charge. It was on and had a signal. The man handed the phone to the senior constable, feeling he was the best person to make the call. He quickly accessed the phone's address book finding John's number. He pressed the green phone button to call it. For some reason, Dave's phone was set to speaker, so they could all hear as it rang. The chopper continued circling. The monotone ring filled the vehicle. Everyone went quiet, faces turned with expectation.
"Pick up" Dave thought "pick up". The ringing continued two three more times, a click and stopped.
"Hello" a new voice filled the vehicle. Dave recognised John.
"Is that John" the police officer said?
"Yes, it's me"
"John, this is the police. Are you alright – your friend Dave has reported you missing. Are you alright?"
"Yes – I'm fine" he said. He did sound fine Dave thought a little surprised. He half expected John's voice to be filled with agony and worry because he was half dying in a ditch somewhere. But he sounded the same as ever. Fine, perfectly fine.
"Where are you now?" the policeman continued.
"I'm walking back to the car park now. I should be there in five minutes". All this time the helicopter continued buzzing over head. There was no-way John wouldn't be able to see it. The policeman motioned to the radio operator, in communication with the helicopter. "He's safe, call off the helicopter".
The operator nodded clicking the handset to talk.
"Good news, we've found him, safe and sound. Call off the search."
"Call off the search" the radio crackled. "Roger, heading back to base now". "Thank you for you efforts" the operator said. "Have a good day".

"You too" the pilot chuckled, happy it had all ended well. They all watched as the helicopter banked to the right and then flew straight above them. It was a special moment, and then just as quickly as it had arrived, was gone.

Dave and the rest of the search party moved outside. A couple of the Rescue Team were already kitted up with full battle readiness, harnessing their backpacks and just waiting for the word to go. Their colleague informed them that the lad had turned up which they received with wide smiles.

Dave headed to the side of the road, scanning for John. Sure enough John was trudging up the road towards them cutting a sheepish figure. Dave just stood their, incredulous as he walked up, giving him the wide eyed stare.

"What the f*$k happened to you then?" he mentioned as John got in earshot, gesturing with his hands to all the carnage John had caused around him. John could see the police car now, and the six wheeled all terrain vehicle. The thought of the pot incident that had briefly been forgotten also came back to Dave's thoughts.
"Was that helicopter for me too" John asked?
"Take a wild guess" Dave cut back. "What happened"?
John explained. "After a while I just got lost. The bloody shrooms were everywhere. I didn't realise where I was as just couldn't get a moment to look up. When I did, I couldn't see you anywhere". Dave could relate to that at least, after all he was partly guilty too. "Didn't you hear me shouting? Where did you go"?
"I didn't hear a thing with the wind out there and my hood up. The fog was mental too – couldn't see anything out there. Before I knew it, I didn't know where I was. Then eventually I came across this path, and all I could remember was "Stick to the Path!!" (the line out of the American Werewolf in London that always seems to come into your head in moments like these). So I did. I ended up walking past this creepy old house, and streams and everything. I didn't have a clue where the hell I was, but figured as long as I was on the path then sooner or later I'd get to a main road or something". Dave thought he knew the path John was talking about. He'd seen it a few seasons ago but had never gone down it. He'd always assumed it took you out back further into the moor. As long way rounds went, that was a long way round. No wonder they couldn't find him.

Dave not for the first or last time that day almost had to laugh.
"I saw that helicopter circling about and was preying it was nothing to do with me" John said. Dave could just imagine that thought going through his mate's brain. "Even on the way up here I was finding shrooms everywhere, but just had to leave them with that thing flying about."

They entered the car park and Dave directed them towards the policeman. In the background, the Rescue crew were packing up, but stopped to give John a wave and a smile that he was alright. John waved back, still overwhelmed by what was going on and the trouble he'd caused.

The policeman held out his hand which John shook, greeting the policeman with a smile. Dave decided to give them a bit of space and keep out the way. Quite honestly what was going to happen next he didn't have a clue.

John came back to the car shortly later. Around them everybody was packing up. Dave sat in the passenger seat, getting in next to him behind the wheel. He left his door open. There was a crunch, as the six wheeled vehicle turned itself around and pulled out of the car park, turning onto the road. A moment later it was gone, leaving them alone in the car park with the police car and the Caravan. The day had settled down into lovely warm sunshine now, and the sky was blue with thin white clouds gently drifting across. It was a beautiful afternoon considering how bad the morning had been.

They noticed the black haired policeman walking towards their car. When he was a few feet away he said "You know that helicopter costs £5000 an hour to use". He left the fact lingering in the pleasant afternoon breeze. Dave's eyes rolled. "Oh F*@k" he thought, fearing he was just about to get served with the bill for this little escapade. He was still knee deep in student loans. There's no way he could afford that. He figured John was thinking exactly the same thing. The policeman smiled sensing their discomfort.

"But that's alright, we're just glad it all turned out well, and no-one was hurt" he said. They both gave sighs of relief. "Oh and one more thing" the policeman continued. He reached his hand out to John palm down. John instinctively held his hand out. The policeman dropped a small bag into John's hand. Dave's eyes almost popped out as he recognised John's bag of grass now sitting in his palm. "Dispose of that by non combustible means". The policeman gave them a winning smile, obviously revelling in their astonishment, then turned and walked back to his vehicle. He got in, and moments later, the black and white swung out of the car park, driving away.

Dave and John turned to each other speechless. "Ha ha" Dave said, John also grinning like a Cheshire cat. "Can you believe that" he said bursting into laughter. John joined in. "What a f@*k'n day".

Dave looked out the window, now that they had the place to themselves again. "Wanna go find some shrooms now" he asked cheekily?
"Forget it" John said dismissing the idea out of hand with a frown. Dave shrugged accepting that the picking was over for the day and the season. He smiled.
"Let's get the hell out of here then" he said.
"Sounds like a very good idea to me" John said closing the door and starting the ignition. Moments later they pulled out of the car park and also drove away, reflecting on what had been one of the strangest picking adventures they had ever had.